That’s what God told me about Chris before we were dating.
He told me “you can trust him.”
God must’ve known how important that was for my panicky heart to hear.
My heart that rarely got breaks from anxiety,
My heart that needed someone who wouldn’t leave me,
or reject me.
My heart that needed someone who could love a girl who’d been through Trauma.
When we were on the World Race and my anxiety would kick into high gear, I’d go find him. He always had such a sense of peace about him. And if I sat in the same room as him, some of that peace was sure to rub off on me.
My heart found refuge in the heart of a boy who understood Trauma too. Who had also seen the dark night and wasn’t perfect (and didn’t pretend to be).
And he had no misgivings about me. He didn’t expect me to be anything but myself.
I have a gaggle of friends who are safe too. Too many to mention here for sure, but they’ve stayed on the phone when I’ve cried, invited me to fly across the country when I was in the thick of depression, and didn’t bat an eye when I confessed to things I felt shame for.
my deep deep down hope,
is that we all find these people,
whether it’s just one,
to be safe with.
My prayer tonight,
is that you find safety,
in someone who receives you just as you are,
past, present, and future.
And my other prayer is that WE are those people too. That we are SAFE people:
houses of refuge for the weary,
with a dinner table of acceptance,
a thick blanket of approval,
a warm cup of healing,
an embrace of a deeper love.
And that our eyes are wisened
and adjusted to see
Hope in the dark.